Two Stars to the Right ...

... and Straight onto the Morning

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Fic: What I Know Now 2/5 and 3/5
Atonement - On Farway Seasides
Happy Birthday nawalziiee !!


Title: What I Know Now 2/5 and 3/5
Author: Catslove17
Fandom: Kurosagi
Pairing: Tsurara/Kurosagi
Genre: Lament. Basically I just re write the whole drama ^^;; please bare with me
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2/5 = 578, 3/5 = 500
Disclaimer: Kurosagi the drama, the manga and the movie are not mine
Author's Notes: I'm sorry. I spam you not only with real life events but also with fanfics that basically re tell dramas. I am so sorry, I do this all the time. Please bare with me. These are short, and I will be posting a whole truckload of crappy maki/universe drabbles soon, inspired by fragileday 
sorry everyone, please bare with me!

Part 1: Is here

Kurosagi had taught Tsurara exactly how much hate a human heart could hold

At first she had pitied him. Saw him only as a poor creature who had simply made wrong choices. His determined features, crisp white suit and dark sunglasses left little impression on her. She’d dismissed him as a wannabe. Someone who watched way too much tv, and probably dreamed of growing up to be a celebrity or a spy as a kid.

Her initial gratefulness towards him for saving her life had quickly been replaced with strong dislike. His over confident attitude and arrogance repulsed her. Who was he to think he could “swindle back their money?”. After all wasn’t he committing the exact crime he was trying to find justice for? A hypocrite if ever she saw one. Just some asshole who thought he was above the law. Tsurara did not respect him at all and she never would.

Then things had changed. Moving next door to him had transformed her opinions of him. He was no longer that annoying coincidence, but a daily joy, something akin to that of opening a cereal box and finding a toy within. His obnoxious egotistical countenance evolved into that of complexity and mystery. An impossibly complex brainteaser without a solution. She often found herself wondering what he really thought. How he really felt. What he really saw in everything and nothing. Her original hate for him bubbled into a hard hammering in her chest. Kurosaki had been thrust into the sun, and soon the parts of him which had previously remained hidden inside his own shadows, sparkled. The glass was half full and everyday held new endless possibilities. Deny it as she did, deny it as she should, it was plain for anyone to see that Tsurara had fallen hard and fast. Softly and slowly. Irrefutably for a man with a thousand different faces and skins.

It was wrong of her she realized all too late, to try to change him. What Kurosaki must have seen as a pesky meddling, Tsurara viewed as insightful information. She was trying to mold him into her belief of the perfect man. Shake away his bitterness, warm up the coldness in his heart, brush away the moth balls. Shape him into the man who teased her in her dreams.

In reality Tsurara had no right to “offer advice”. She had made assumptions. Stupid ones. Kurosaki, who kept himself so well hidden fooled her easily. To her he was the lone ranger. She shouldn’t have tried to change him. She shouldn’t have assumed that he wanted a new career path. She shouldn’t have believed his troubles to be trivial and shallow. She shouldn’t have fallen in love with him in the first place.

Kurosaki’s past ran deep. Deep into the veins of his heart. His own family massacre, and story of revenge had shocked her. Awakened her to her selfish ministrations. For no matter how much she nagged, no matter how hard she lectured, he was set hard in his ways. Living life set on spilling blood to equate for the blood staining his soul. He wouldn’t stop hunting until he’d gotten his revenge. Maybe not even then.

It scared her to think that the fortress of his mind was so impenetrable, impregnable. Forever closed for the night. That her touch and her will could not redirect his self paved path to self destruction. That she meant nothing to him at all.

Kurosagi had taught her that the world was black, white and all shades of gray

His method contested everything she believed in. Made rain fall upwards, sunflowers follow the path of the moon and right become wrong.

It was a difficult concept for her to grasp. She’d always defined a crime as an act committed by a human towards another human which resulted in one being considerably worse off than the other after the act. Every crime had a perpetrator who inflicted harm upon a victim. End of story. Case closed.

But Kurosaki didn’t fit this definition. He didn’t fit any definition. He was different and strange and unique. He defied her every expectation, contested every discourse she knew, challenged every stereotype she cared to think of. With him, It was like trying to fit an irregular parallelogram into a square.

He confused her. And whilst her logic told her that he was a trickster a criminal, she could not fight that little voice in her head.

He’s a trickster. But he tricks other tricksters, and gives his ill gotten gains to those swindled .
He’s manipulates people’s feelings and exploits their insecurities. But only those who in turn manipulate and exploit others.
He’s a criminal. But I love him.

He was made of anomalies, coloured irregular, accessorized with buts. She could never expect a stable life from him. One where she’d come home to their quaint little house, say tadaima and expect a warm hug, kiss on the cheek and okaeri back. He wasn’t made for normal, missed average by several notches, bypassed sane a long time ago.

Unbelievably so, he had expanded her world. Shown her the why and how. Revealed to her the areas of gray that she did not know existed. Her black and white world, fixated on wrong and right, good and evil, guilty and innocent, had begun to colour. She shuddered to think how many people in jail had legitimate reasons. Crimes they had committed on behalf of loved ones. Stories that no one could even begin to comprehend, let alone the courts. She shuddered to think how many of them had tales she could understand and relate to. She wondered how she could possibly condemn a three dimensional man, who felt and loved like she did.

She wanted to accept his method of dealing with the injustices of the world. She wanted to throw her arms open and hold him. Whisper to him the sweet nothings she longed to hear from him. She wanted to abandon her dreams for her future and follow him into the darkness. But when the morning the came, her ambition kicked right back in, and her fantasies crept back into the shadows from which they had come. She would help the poor, the disheartened the needy. She would help the right receive what they deserved. Conquer the demons that lurked and bring smiles to peoples faces.

She could save those like Kurosaki, from becoming what he was today.


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and yet she has never regret knowing him, the one who taught her the meaning of life.

he was her sun, her moon, her world. he was her everything, from the air she breathed to the thoughts she bore. and yet it hurt to see that she would never save him from the valley of despair, unable to do anything as she saw him sinking deeper and deeper into sinking sand.

she wanted to save him. she wanted to love him. she wanted him to love her back. but mostly she wanted to see herself in his eyes, eyes filled with care and warm smiles instead of smirks. mostly she wanted to forget that he was impossible to influence, that she was uncapable of anything. anything at all.

hope this comment is good enough XD

Re: and yet she has never regret knowing him, the one who taught her the meaning of life.

Wow. I've never had one of those. A story in a comment .... a story in reply to another story!

How unique and different!


My love, my dear neko-ai.
Arigatou -- number one for spamming Honey Hunt. I'm about to do a major pimp-post for it soon.
Arigatou -- number two for updating this story! i've been waiting for this and is now quite satisfied especially since there are two parts to it.

Oh the wonders of Kurosagi, one of the most complex love stories ever. Your characterization of Tsurara is beautiful. What a beautiful character she is to be in love with an amazingly mysterius Kurosaki. They are perfect for each other, no matter what anyone says. They basically complete each other in a sense.

and your way with words, Neko-ai. it's breathless.

He was no longer that annoying coincidence, but a daily joy, something akin to that of opening a cereal box and finding a toy within.

I am a kid. It's the only reason why I buy cereal.

Honey Hunt is like what fangirling is all about, I mean the squeeing material, my god, how plentiful it is!

I hate that no one is making a season 2 kurosagi yet. I mean it's pretty much guaranteed money, I see no downside of it, yet Japan remains frustratingly oblivious.

What is wrong with you god? This is true love, and if it isn't then surely true love doesn't exist.

Love your insight into Kurosagi and Tsurara's relationship and how it has affected Tsurara's world.

Cookies. Of the choc - chip variety

Thank you so much.

I am so sorry that I don't comment on your LJ. I don't do kpop, and I always seem to bypass your entries, I am an awful person I know. Please give me a chance, I feel so lucky that although I'm yet to comment, you still comment on my journal. This makes you a better woman than I.

as I sit here, trying to fully grasp the poetic imagery of your writing...

I am amazed with how good you managed to capture the darkness and angst of Tsurara's predicament, her life and morals all mixed up because of stupid Kurosaki.

Her love and her morals, her life and her despair.

Unbelievably so, he had expanded her world. Shown her the why and how. Revealed to her the areas of gray that she did not know existed. Her black and white world, fixated on wrong and right, good and evil, guilty and innocent, had begun to colour.

Kurosagi, has definitely tainted her in so many ways. Yes.

Bravo Cat. I shall expect the next part soon. <333

prz to ignore my horrible analytical skills.

AND YES. HONEY HUNT FTW. I so expect a drama adaptation sometime next year or so...with our lovelies of course.

Re: as I sit here, trying to fully grasp the poetic imagery of your writing...

There's like really only four parts .... I think the fifth might be an actual fanfic *shock horror gasp* or something from kurosagi's point of view.

It means so much to me that you're praising my work, I constantly hope anything I produce measures up, and I'm so glad you took to time to comment and to care.

But I still don't know about Jin. I think Jin suits him perfectly (I mean seriously, he's a Johnny's and memory-blank-of-the-guy's-name is also a johnnys, and they're just so alike) but I am for some reason predisposed to disliking Jin. But Yamapi the CHARMING CUTE FANBOY is ftw, and only natural.

This is so beautiful! I love the way you write Tsurara ♥
Actually, I don't like her much O.o Mostly because no one ever shows us the real Tsurara and she ends up looking like a person without personality ( well, I haven't analyzed Kurosagi that far - I'm just there for the pretty )

As always, amazing ♥

Sincerly all yours with lovely kind regards

I didn't like Nobuta much in Nobuta Wo Produce, and Tsurara's kinda borderline, but I love the pairing and the unresolved sexual tension just gives us so much to play with, so play we shall!

as always, amazing wow. You think of much much too highly.

i missed the first part. how's that happened?
this is totally random, but can you think of any western story/lore that match that of kurosagi?
i mean, he is obviously robin hood, but maid marian is not tsurara at all. is that because the traditional western lore would portray woman as someone who could never think for themselves?
it's either cinderella, or the step sisters...

i have to admit, i'm all for the step sisters. we need to know their story.... because it's basically the same story from different point of view, right?

and why am I rambling here?
i should just write : i like your writing.. that I do!

I'm basically re-telling the drama, so the first part is nothing special, just longer ....

But Maid Marion (at least in the Robin Hood BBC story) is a really strong character, who can totally weild a sword and chop off a mans testicles! As opposed to more historical versions I have no idea.

Traditional disney stories always have weak willed women characters though, that's true.

I once read/gave up reading half way through a book told through cinderella's step sisters point of view, which portrayed cinderella as less of a goddess and more of a strange delicate, changeling child. It was interesting, because I have a thing for warped fairy tales. I especially like the idea of exploiting something from a different point of view.

Ramble all you like, I love you. And thank you for reading and bothering to comment. <3

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